At some point in life we come across people who have the tendency to say one thing and do another. We have probably all been one of these people ourselves throughout our lives.
Being congruent with oneself involves correspondence between our words, feelings and actions. Congruence is a demonstration of respect both to yourself and your needs and also to others. Consequently, others establish trust and faith in you, it is easier to assert yourself and establish boundaries, and time is used wisely and productively.
Our inner self encompasses swirls of desires, needs, and emotions. Being congruent indicates that our exterior life should mirror this or demonstrate a working progress to create this match. Congruence and being authentic with ourselves, should ultimately lead to our outside sphere reflecting our inner self.
Despite the fact that we are constantly evolving and moving through life, we possess our core values and desires. We can stray from them, but then we feel misaligned. Self-congruence involves our external words and choices aligning with what we truly feel. Sometimes our desires can be overshadowed by social pressures, expectations, and fear of rejection. But, remember we aren’t here to please any one else before we attend to ourselves. We are here to respect ourselves and consequently respect others. Are you familiar with the expression “treat others how you would like to be treated?” Therefore, we must strengthen what it is we want within ourselves before we can give and receive the treatment we desire. Getting clear on what one wants opens up a door of self- discovery and although the work can appear overwhelming, the more intense of a journey,the greater the liberation. Most importantly, each and everyone of us has a right to live in harmony with ourselves first.
Another natural and creative gift that arises from congruence is intuition. By being congruent with oneself our level of self-awareness grows. Only in knowing ourselves can we begin to really and truly comprehend others, and the gift? Intuition. Some people are naturally more in tune with their intuition than others, we all have our unique natural gifts, however one must know oneself before knowing others. Life experience also plays a part in developing intuition.
Becoming centred and in balance with our thoughts, emotions and actions will assist us in achieving what we really want to and having the right people around us. Examples of being congruent could be:
- Acting in accordance with your core values and not straying from them
Saying no to frequently attending certain environments despite feeling uncomfortable about the surroundings. - Taking action and responsibility to make changes to one’s lifestyle if it is of detriment to your priorities, for instance if your desire is to be healthy
- Ensuring when communication your intentions, that your behaviour and actions are in line with what you have said
- Not feeling pressured into situations if you feel uncomfortable.
- Staying clear with what you want and how you want to feel, for example certain dealbreakers and what you would like to receive from situations.
Being congruent with oneself does not mean we expect others to understand what we desire, if we do not communicate it clearly and lovingly. However, what it does provide us is a guideline for what we desire from life and when we are at our healthiest and most authentic raw state of being, congruence is a wonderful compass.
Natural Intentions 